The Truth about Happiness
All fled, all done, so lift me on the pyre;The feast is over and the lamps expire.
Robert E Howard
Maybe we're not supposed to be happy. This persistent internal struggle and frustration at why why why it had to be me and why can't life just give me a break and why do we have to resist bad temptations or fight for our rights or grapple for a good thing to stay or face battles everyday…Maybe we have to be brutally honest to ourselves, distinguish between the really bad shit and the shit, and be happy that we don't have to put up with too much shit and move on. And maybe we're just supposed to be thankful for the things we'll never know happened. No offence to anybody out there, but the old favorite optimistic chestnuts like " learn from your mistakes" or "everything's a lesson" and all that is just bull which, if you say to someone who's feeling really down, then it just makes them want to punch you in the face (have you ever been in a situation when you've been feeling soo bad and someone tells you "take it easy!" or "relax!" or anything like that and you felt like telling them to just stuff it? That's what I mean – it doesn't help.)
I really think that the best thing you can tell someone who is going through hard times that they just have to go through it, and that there's no other way to get over something until it gets over with them. I mean, I believe that miracles happen as we move along with our lives. But I also believe that we never see them. Maybe it's because we close our eyes, maybe we are so busy looking at another direction and maybe it's because we are afraid to really be happy. Here's the fact that we're actually taught when we're 8 but fail to recognize as the best advice we're ever gonna get: "We can't go over it, we can't go under it, Oh no, we've got to go through it…"
There are a lot of hints for happiness going on, little sounds that sigh to us about the great things in life, but we're just so busy trying to pursue something that might have no good in it at all that we block out all sounds and sights and focus on the wrong thing.
I think that every crappy, shitty, nasty little thing that happens to us should be accepted and acknowledged as what it really is: something to throw us off our feet because face it, life's a bitch and she's having the time of her life taking the piss out of us. But here's what we're supposed to keep our minds focused on: the actuality that every day we have the nerve and even the audacity to face one more day knowing that there's only going to be more shit ahead of us…
Now that's something to be happy about.
posted by Ingenious Perspective @ 3:30 PM
9 Comments:
YES! saying "you learn from your mistakes" and "everything's a test" to someone who is upset is annoying! i guess it's all about timing, because the fact is we DO learn from our mistakes and life IS a test, but there's a right time to say it and a wrong time. Uff i hate it so much when someone tell me to relax when im pissed off.
Quraan
Be sure We shall test you with something of fear and hunger, some loss in goods or lives or the fruits (of your toil); but give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere. (2:155)
Do men think that they will be left alone on saying “We believe” and that they will not be tested? (29:2)
Ye shall certainly be tried and tested in your possessions and in your personal selves. (3:186)
And those who believe and do good – We do not impose upon any of them a burden beyond his capacity. (7:42)
On no soul do We place a burden greater than it can bear: before Us is a record which clearly shows the truth: they will never be wronged. (23:62)
Hadeeth (sayings of the prophet)
"When Allah intends good for His slave, He punishes him in this world, but when He intends an evil for His slave, He does not hasten to take him to task but calls him to account on the Day of Resurrection." (Tirmidhi)
"When Allah who is Great and Glorious loves people He afflicts them [with trials]." (Tirmidhi)
When asked about who suffers the greatest afflictions, the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) replied:
"The prophets, then those who come next to them, then those who come next to them. A man is afflicted in keeping his religion. If he is firm in his religion his trial is severe, but if there is weakness in his religion it is made light for him, and it continues like that till he walks on the earth having no sin." (Tirmidhi)
check out this website:
http://www.welcome-back.org/topic/trials.shtml
basma i tried calling you last night, call me when you're free i have to tell you stuff about hababa's medication. see u later xx
A few more verses of the Quraan
We have made some of you as a trial for others: will ye have patience? For Allah is One Who sees (all things). (25:20)
… When We bestow a favor upon him as from Ourselves he says, “This has been given to me because of a certain knowledge (I have)!” Nay, this is but a trial. But most of them understand not. (39:49)
Verily Allah will not deal unjustly with man in aught: it is man that wrongs his own soul. (10:44)
O ye who believe! seek help with patient perseverance and prayer: for Allah is with those who patiently persevere. (2:153)
Truly the reward of the Hereafter will be greater if they only realize (this)! (They are) those who persevere in patience and put their trust on their Lord. (16:41-42)
Alhamdulillah, we have the quraan as our guidance!
loooooooooool
yes -
life IS a test and we don't need to sit around wondering what God's greater plan is because we have to have Faith
AND yes brothaa - we have to have bad days so that we can enjoy the good days
i honestly think its better for us to stop 'philosophizing' and trying to figure out the greater plan or the lesson to be learnt or the diamond in disguise and all that...if we could just tell a person: "look, this sux, i know, but who said life was a peace of cake? no, there's no reason why this happened, no, there's no reason why this happened to YOU, shit happens, and you better get up cuz more shit is going to happen and you have to be ready for it cuz you don't want something to kick you while you're down..."
some woman once told me that the only thing that kept her from suicide was her kids...and she hates her life...can you tell this person that what happened to her (which was a lot of stuff that i'm not at liberty to say) happened for a reason? or that it's a trial? or that she has to learn from it?
much more practical in my opinion than "this is a lesson" "now you know what you did so learn from this" and "you'll be glad this happened" and all that...sometimes it is true, sometimes what happens is a lesson, and people do sometimes end up learning from their mistakes, and one day everything will work itself out...but sometimes it isn't true, and then we've just given false hope to someone who will continue to wonder what was the reason, and what lesson is to be learnt? and when will everything work out?
hey basma, well said.. i understand exactly what you mean. Things happen in life that sometimes make you worse and not better..
But you know, this lady might still be wondering what lesson she needs to learn from her experience.. or maybe she's come to the conclusion that there was nothing to learn from what happened to her.. but i think that if she looks at what happened to her as a test from god.. as in testing her patience, then THAT is the answer she is looking for.. because what else could it be?
Qr:
We have made some of YOU as a trial for OTHERS: will ye have PATIENCE? For Allah is One Who sees (all things). (25:20)
Just wanna clarify myself....
I know you just said "how can you tell her that it's a trial or that it happened for a reason"..
I agreee no one should tell her that, because that would just piss her off.
The truth is she has to figure it out on her own, that this is what god planned for her and he is testing her patience.
seriously, there IS no other answer for it.. and if someone happensssss to tell her that, it WOULD piss her off, but it WOULDN'T be giving her false hope.
false hope would be if someone tells her you WILL learn from this (which you and I established is not always the case), or your life WILL get better.
And if she is an educated muslim chances are she already knows that god is testing her patience.. and hopefully it would bring her close to god and not away from him, which can happen to people.
all WE can do is pray that things turn out ok with her and that one day her pain will lessen or disappear.
I understand that you think it's much more practical to think of it in a very straight fwd realistic way, like 'these things happend... who knows why it happened to you... and guess what? get ready for tomorrow because it could get alot worse!"
Ofcourse that's true, you hit the nail on the head, because who know why these things ACTUALLY happen, what the WHOLE reason is...?
But at the same time we can't DENY or ignore our deen, we cant deny or ignore the fact that god SPELLS it out to us so so so many times that he will test our faith and pateince, we cant deny or ignore that muhammad pbuh said god will test those he loves and cause them great affliction. we cant just ignore those words, you know what i mean???? you said: all the crap is just "SOMETHING to throw us off our feet because face it, LIFE'S a ***** and she's having the time of her life taking the piss out of us."
So what is this 'SOMETHING?' and 'LIFE'? those two words I capitalized are referring to none other than god and god's handiwork.. he is throwing us off our feet, but i dunno if he's doing it just for kicks, hehe.
Hey that was an amazing comment
But what I meant in my post had nothing to do with religion, because if we look at it from religion's point of view then here are the answers: we are sent here to be tried (and to worship), we are tried on our patience, and we have to have faith that Allah has a bigger plan for us
And if we look at it from that standpoint then my post doesn't make sense at all hehehe
But I was speaking from a strictly non-religious, non-Islamic, non-holy approach – and yeah I believe in exactly everything you said (and you said it perfectly wawie all my friends called me up to discuss it)
I didn't mean for the post to have anything to do with religion cuz if it did we would say: life is a test on our patience, and the answers are with God, and if we are true believers in God's bigger plan then we could overcome anything, and Islam encourages us to ask and ask and ask again so we should always be seeking answers and not just be passive believers…and I believe in all that and more…
and I feel really guilty about calling life a b**** because -again from a devout point of view- God is what gave us life, but like I said I didn't mean it in a way that touched upon anything sacred at all…just a wide-ranging viewpoint on a general outlook that sometimes life sux, and we can’t find all the answers to why bad things happen to people who don't seem to deserve it like rape and poverty and child abuse and molestation and disabilities and bad accidents, and we shouldn't be wasting time searching for why these things happen we should just face reality that bad things happen because life is unfair, and move on…
See what I'm getting it? What i said about life being crappy and facing that there is no excuse we just have to accept it instead of brooding over why bad things happen- all of that can’t be judged from an Islamic perspective cuz if it did then it wouldn’t make any sense at all and the answers would be right there in front of us…
hey :)
i got all of it, except this part:
"all of that can’t be judged from an Islamic perspective cuz if it did then it wouldn’t make any sense at all and the answers would be right there in front of us…"
can you elaborate plz?
Enjoyed a lot!
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