Superstition

I’m not a very investigative person, but I do go through phases where I analyze myself (for no reason other than to have something to talk about, and who loves anything more than talking about their selves?)
In any case, I have made an interesting discovery, and once I mentioned my behavior I found a few people who share this same conduct with me. Superstition. I don’t consider myself a very superstitious person, I think I read somewhere ages ago that women ordinarily resort to superstitious thoughts when they can’t explain something, but for my part, when I’m under any kind of pressure, then I get really superstitious. This has been going on for so long that I didn’t even realize it, until of course I found myself more and more engrossed in it– for example, if I have an exam, I have to put on full makeup. For some reason I cannot perform well in an exam if I am not lavishly made-up. When my friends see me with make-up, they know right away that I have an exam. It’s like a ritual. I usually put make-up everyday, but when I go all out with the hair and the eye shadows, then its war. Same thing with clothes, if I ever wear something and do badly, then I never wear it again for anything important. If I have a meeting and I wear a red blouse, and then during the meeting there’s an argument, or I say something stupid, or on the whole the meeting does not go well, then I never wear that red blouse again for anything important. Ever. Same goes for shoes and jewelry. And somehow it works. Deep down I know that this is totally irrational, unreasonably, and somewhat absurd, but for some reason I take comfort with this foolish faith that one thing has a lot to do with another. Miss M suggested that I once do it anyway: wear something that I’ve worn before and things didn’t work out, just to see if they don’t work out again. But I think I’ve psyched myself so much into believing in this that I might unconsciously do badly just to prove to myself that my superstition is true. In any case I’m enjoying this. It’s like how my brother has to say goodnight 3 or 4 times before he can actually sleep, or my mother has to hold the remote in her hand even if she’s not changing the channel, or my friend has to keep her mobile right in front of her on the table during exams, and my other friend has to swear and then pray if a black cat ever crosses her path when she’s driving… many other things around me I’ve noticed that people take comfort in even though, if they think about it sensibly, it makes no sense at all.
That’s it for today. I haven’t blogged in ages but now university has started and I have a lot of breaks between classes so I guess I’m back.