Free Will Vs. Predeterminism(Mazen Inspired Post)

I’m sick of hearing: “if it’s meant to be, it’ll happen.” I know I’ve used this line many times, but only when it was the right time to use it. Like when I did my best to get something, and then didn’t get it, I would say: well, maybe it wasn’t meant to be. But saying that I believe that everything has already been planned for us, that we are all part of some grand scheme…I don’t enjoy that very much. Predeterminism is a dreamy, sometimes impractical perception of life, some starry-eyed notion sold to people who are in grief to make them believe that there is a reason that something bad happened to them; like there's a greater plan that we're all too meager to understand. Like there's a reason bad shit happens. There isn’t a reason. Life’s a bitch. Yeah. So what? I mean, what’s the alternative?
I think we are all given a choice. We have free will. I think that everything that happens to us is based on some options that was given to us, and that we chose from, which lead us down a certain path, which now sets before us new choices which we willfully or sometimes involuntarily make. We have been given free will, and at the end of the day there is no way we can say that something happened to us that wasn’t a result of a choice we (or someone else) made. Its like saying: If it’s meant to be, I’ll pass my exam. No you won’t! If you study, you’ll pass the exam. If we’re meant to be together, we will be. No, if you make the choice to be together, then you will be together. You always have a choice, even if it’s a choice you don’t want to make. I mean, if there isn’t free will, why are we alive? Why are we here? Why do we have the choice to make either good or bad choices and then suffer the consequences: heaven, or hell, karma, etc. If we didn’t have a choice, we would just be insensible, unaware beings, living it out. But we have a conscious, don’t we? We know good from bad, we know right from wrong, we are able to differentiate the consequences of one choice as opposed to another choice. If I loved somebody, I wouldn’t say: if it were meant to be, we’d end up together (I might say that after we ended up together, to give it that romantic insinuation) but the truth is, I would tell him I loved him and tried to be with him. And if it worked out, great, and if it doesn’t, well, it would be because of a choice he or I made that stopped it from happening. Even in those great romantic stories that we only hear about in movies, when a guy who is married falls in love with another girl, leaves his wife, finds out that the girl he loves is married, and then she leaves her husband, and one day 10 years later they meet up and say: you see, nothing can come in the way of love, it was meant to be. What a load of bull. They ended up together because of choices they and many others around them have made that somehow got them to a point where they met. It wasn’t destiny. If fate were absolute, then what would be the point of living? Of making decisions? Of having choices? Of even getting up in the morning?
On the other hand, if you belong to some religion or faith (which I do) you have to allow some measure of belief in fate. Because, before we were born, we didn’t choose who are parents were, where we would be born, what kind of lives our parents would have led. Its like fate brings us only to one point, and everything that happens to us after that depends on what we do (like in that movie Serendipity – if you haven’t seen it, it basically talks about what I’ve mentioned. Good movie.)
Anyway, as I was saying, after we are born, we are set with an array of options and alternatives that we choose from. And we make them, and each choice leads us onto another choice, and so on. Yet, I have to admit, that there may be some incidents in life that are so complex, so unexplainable, that you can’t do anything but merely laugh (or cry) and say: it’s destiny. Its not as if your life has already been planned out for you and all you do is follow, and not just that the choices you make are choices that you were predestined to make, and we are all part of a world that is bigger than our grasp, a picture that has no restrictions, or isn’t confined to anything we can see in our mind's eye. It’s just I believe that what’s meant to be happens, no matter which road you take. I mean, you have to look at the bigger picture, the one at the end of the road. You can’t say, I wanna cheat fate, so I’ll go left instead of right, because fate is about the place you reach, not the road you take. You can’t cheat fate: if you were meant to be something, or do something, or have something, then it would happen. And if you weren’t, then it wouldn’t. I believe that we are given a bunch of choices, and sometimes we choose the right thing, and sometimes we don’t, but in some way fate gets you somewhere in your life, and then the rest is up to you. Like, when you meet a person and you fall in love and get married and have kids and then die, and your whole life with that person was complete. Could it be that fate got you to a point where you met that person, and then fate whispered in your ear: he’s the one. And then your choice was to either go up to him and say: hi, my name is….; or, you walk away and end up doing something else completely…? Sometimes we do believe that some events are completely out of control, and so have to believe that there must be some other force at work here. But for little things, like little decisions you make, it isn’t about letting fate take you there, its about you making the choice, knowing that fate/Higher Being/destiny or whatever already KNOWS that you were going to make that choice or choose that path or get to that main point in your life, sooner or later.
I wanted to write this out clearly but I guess my thoughts were pretty mixed up...the main point is I'm all for free will as long as we accept the fact that there are some things in life that are just meant to be that we can't control. What do you think?